This is What IT Looks Like

I have been struggling for a few months with the negativity that sometimes surrounds the problem of mental illness and opiate addiction. I have been struggling, because we are IT. We are part of the opioid epidemic. We are part of those who suffer from a diagnosed brain disorder, or mental health problem. We are “those people”. By “we”, I mean me and my husband. Our two teenage children, our family, and our friends live in what I like to call the fallout zone.

1 in 5 Americans suffers from a mental illness. A mental illness is one that affects an individual’s ability to live, laugh, and love. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, in 2015, 2 million people had a prescription opioid use disorder, and the numbers continue to rise.

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder in late 2003, after I realized that my ability to live, laugh, and love was being impacted. My daughter was 2 at the time. She was potty-training and had a small accident while we were at a holiday party. I lost it. As I watched the reaction on my sweet daughter’s face, I realized that I was “no longer myself” and I sought treatment.

THERE IS HOPE! It took many months and many visits to the doctor, but after many tries, we finally found a medication that worked for me. I also found ways to engage in self-support techniques (exercise, time with friends, self-meditation, medical massage, and spiritual pursuits) and I try to practice at least some of them regularly.

In 2011, my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. He was not a smoker so this diagnosis was a shock to us, as a cancer diagnosis is to many. His doctor offered two prescription medications for pain, and told us to choose. One cost a thousand dollars per month. The other, a Fentanyl patch, was significantly cheaper and was covered by our insurance. Within days of using the patch, my children (7 ½ and 9) and I noticed significant personality changes in my husband. He went cold turkey from his patch (when his treatments ended), and from there, the high was chased with alcohol. This continued until 2015 when our family literally hit rock bottom.

THERE IS HOPE! With the help of a counselor, he has been sober since 2015.

We have tried to help our children (now 14 ½ and almost 16) to cope with all that they have had to endure. We have tried to help them build resilience to the adversity they have faced during these trying times. I have paraphrased some tips to build resilience in families from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) here:

Foster a sense of belonging for each person.

Communicate that your family will stick together, even though times are tough.

Be honest with one another.  Allow everyone to have their own feelings.

Cooperate with one another.

Offer forgiveness and say “I’m Sorry”.

Work together through the hard times.

Laugh as much as you can.

THERE IS HOPE! Even though we still struggle some days, we know that together we are stronger. We know that our story may help others because if we can survive IT, so can many others!