I’m single, and for the most part I like being single-and I am not alone. Today, more Americans spend more years of their adulthood single than married (Sharp & Ganong, 2011). In a society that increasingly values individualism and independence this is no surprise (Poortman & Liefbroer, 2010). While many may see being a single adult as “delayed”; being single does have advantages.
One of the most significant advantages of being single is the development of new skills. I have developed skills as a single person that I may have not developed otherwise. One example has been using new tools to put together my TV stand. Even if the directions said it would take 1 hour and it took 4, I still got it together on my own, and learned something throughout the process. Singles often develop skills that help make them self-sufficient and all around more rounded. They are not subject to division of household labor and may be more independent in many domains of life (Pudrovska, Schieman, & Carr, 2006(PDF)).
Another advantage is being able to figure out yourself and your identity (Sharp & Gonong, 2011). You can take the time to learn and focus on your personal values, goals, and interests. Delaying marriage allows single women to figure out their feelings about marriage and determine whether it is right for them. It also gives them control over parts of their lives and discovering the positives to staying single (Sharp & Ganong, 2011). For men, being a single adult can offer time to seek their identity as well as learn from experiences of dating and other relationships (Eck, 2013).
While many people focus on the negatives of being a single adult, in reality there are positives that have been overlooked. If you are the parent, sibling, or friend of a single adult, recognize and support those in their singleness. As a single adult, take time to evaluate where you are in life and reflect on all the advantages you have as being on your own.
References
Eck, B.A. 2013. Identity twists and turns: How never-married men make sense of an unanticipated identity. Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, 42: 31–63. DOI:10.1177/0891241612457045.
Poortman, A.R., and Liefbroer, A.C. 2010. Singles’ relational attitudes in a time of individualization. Social Science Research, 39: 938–949. DOI:10.1016/j.ssresearch.2010.03.012.
Pudrovska, T., Schieman, S., and Carr, D. 2006. Strains of singlehood in later life: Do race and gender matter? Journal of Gerontology, 61B: S315–S322. DOI:10.1093/geronb/61.6.S315.
Sharp, E.A., and Ganong,L. 2011. ‘I’m a loser, I’m not married, let’s just all look at me’: Ever-single women’s perceptions of their social environment. Journal of Family Issues, 32: 956–980. DOI:10.1177/0192513X10392537.
