Quality or Quantity?

There is no doubt that technology is changing how we interact with others. Statistics show that most Americans spend 11 hours per day using technology. Miriam-Webster defines relationship as “the way in which two or more people talk, behave toward, or are connected to one another”. Relationships thrive because individuals share personal information with one another.  Because of the frequency of our online interactions and the intimate information we share, it is easy for us to believe that our online connections are as important as our face-to-face relationships. Online connections could be those we communicate with on social media, email, gaming, blogs, chats, etc.

For most of us, no matter our age, our online relationships take precedence over our face-to-face relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.

How does this affect us?  Most of us have what we would consider close friendships with people we socialize with online  Yet, many of us do not speak to that person when we encounter them at the store or at a local event, and sometimes we will even go out of our way to avoid an online friend in person. Research has shown that relationships that are sustained through online means are not as strong as those where people interact in other ways.

Here are some ideas to help you depend less on technology in relationships:

Effort: Set some attainable goals in regards to technology (i.e. only checking email/social media at certain times each day or no technology at meal times) Set time aside each day to talk to those you love the most. Rub a back. Tickle a belly. Share a memory. Make a phone call. Write a letter.

Energy: Make time daily and weekly to engage with others. Play a game. Go on a walk. Play kickball. Plan a picnic. Go bowling. Watch a movie. Play in the snow. Laugh. Cry. Sing. Dance.

Emotion: Be genuine. Ask questions.  Listen. Share your feelings. Take interest in what others are sharing with you. Cuddle. Smile. Hug.

Evaluate: Stop, look, and listen as you engage in the world around you.  Make a list of who you love most.  Write down ways to put more effort, energy, and enthusiasm into the relationship you have with them. 

Don’t let fear stop you from making changes.  Worry less about the quantity of time spent online and concentrate more on the quality time with those you love most.  By taking time to set aside technology and focus on who is most important to you, you will begin to see each relationship become more open, more honest, and stronger.