Do you ever have worries pressing on you? Do they seem to ‘super-size’ or grow in intensity as the day wears on, until you feel like a dark cloud is hanging over you? Worries have a way of taking on a life of their own in our minds. When worry brings on a panicky feeling, it’s called anxiety. Anxiety is a very common mental health issue. In fact, about 40 million American adults have an anxiety disorder, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
The good news is there are ways to deal with and reduce anxiety. I was talking with a friend recently about what helps her calm down when she feels her anxiety creeping in. She said it helps her to “downsize it.” What a great way to think about taming your worries.
Here are a few tips to help you ‘downsize’ your worries:
Tell yourself it’s no big deal. Most things aren’t as big as we make them out to be. Bring your problem back down to size by talking it through with a friend, or even out loud to yourself. One strategy is to ask yourself what is the worst that can happen in this situation and is that something you can manage. Then work backward from there, knowing if you can handle the worst, you can handle anything in between.
Keep a worry log. Sometimes seeing your worries in print ushers in reality, allowing you to challenge your irrational thoughts. It’s also comforting to look back through the log and see that most of what we worried about in the past didn’t happen. A research study by Matthews and Wells at the University of Cincinnati found that eight-five percent of what we worry about never happens. For the 15% of worries that did happen, 79% of the subjects found out they could handle the situation better than they thought. So this means that 97% of what we worry about is just fear pushing our minds to exaggerate outcomes.
Assign a worry time. Sounds ridiculous, but—knowing that at a set time every day you can spend 15 minutes worrying about whatever you need to—might allow you to focus on other things during the day. This works well for children too. I learned about this idea from a colleague: add some glitter to a water bottle, shake it up and talk about worries together while you watch the glitter settle. When all the glitter has settled to the bottom, it’s time to move on to focus on something positive. When your child starts to worry again about something, remind him he can wait until the next worry time to think about it.
Use relaxation and deep breathing techniques to counteract the panicky feeling and rapid, shallow breathing that comes with anxiety. You can get started here.
Exercise to improve your mental health. Exercise may improve mental health by helping the brain respond more effectively to stress, according to research on ‘the effect of exercise on neurochemicals involved in the body’s stress response.’
Give your attention to positive things. Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist, says that what we pay attention to helps shape our brain. You have influence on what you focus on. This means you can intentionally prolong or create the experiences that will shape your brain for the better.
If your worries or anxiety limit your daily functioning, you may need to seek to help. See www.apa.org for help in finding a doctor.
