Biting is one of those frustrating behaviors that exasperates child care workers and embarrasses and frustrates parents. “It seems so barbaric!” one mother complained when told her two year old was biting others at day care. However, for children under three it can be a normal developmental phase with no long-lasting significance. After 3, and if interventions don’t stop the behavior, a professional assessment may be indicated. For infants, it is probably a form of exploration since they are impulsive and lack self-control; offering a teething toy or other safe item can correct this. For toddlers up until 36 months, biting may be a form of communication and control over others and their environment. A firm no, more adult supervision and individual attention should correct this behavior. Biting in preschoolers (ages 3-5) is not acceptable as they are capable of communicating their needs and frustrations.
What to Do
- Respond immediately by removing the child from the victim and calmly, but firmly explaining that we do not bite. Use statements such as “biting is not OK” and “I can’t let you hurt your sister”. For infants and young toddlers conveying a message of hurt in a sincere tone can help.
- Maintain a log of incidences and interventions used in case more help is needed to correct the behavior.
- Do not bite back as this conveys that violence is acceptable.
- Punishment is not advised as the behavior is related to a developmental stage.
- Focus attention on the victim, shielding the victim from the biter, initiating first aid and consoling the victim.
- Children 2 and older may benefit from assisting in the first aid process by demonstrating “gentle touching”, having the biter rub the victim’s arm and generally modeling nurturing behavior (don’t allow this to become a game – express genuine concern).
- Toddlers don’t understand time out until about age 2 and a half, but need to be away from other children until they calm down and can be re-directed to a different play situation.
- Stress communication skills by promoting expression of feelings and labeling the behavior that is stressful. Ex: “You look angry Joey. Tell Amy to quit taking your toys”.
- Make an effort to examine the pattern of biting incidents to determine what factors may lead to the biting.
- Create positive physical and learning environments. Attempt to break the cycle by varying activities and the child’s schedule. In a classroom, break up the density of toddlers in the room.
- If a child is biting once a day for more than a week it is time to develop a plan to decrease the biting. In a day care setting, discuss the situation with the parent and explore how biting is handled at home. If it is allowed at home it will be difficult to break the habit in any other setting without the cooperation and consistency of the parent. Do not tell other parents the identity of the biter but just that the problem is being handled.
Understanding the developmental reasons for biting can help parents and day care providers make changes to the environment and help the child in their care better understand and regulate their own emotions. It also helps a parent feel better about their child, which is important! All the players in this situation have different feelings; the parents of the biter and the bitten, the day care provider and the children themselves. Staying calm and working together on a planned and consistent message is the best way to handle biting and other extreme behaviors.
