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You are here: Home / Family and Relationships / Relationship Resolution

May 10, 2016

Relationship Resolution

Many people made health-related New Year’s resolutions. Some may have committed to exercising, and other may have committed to reaching to a lower body mass. The result: people can get healthier.

Another resolution to consider is a relationship-related. You and your significant other can commit to achieving a stronger relationship!

holding-hands-1149411_1920According to the American Psychological Association, 45-50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Though the rate of divorce is a lower than during the 1990s, it is still quite high. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is somewhat higher

Markman, Stanley and Blumberg (2010), authors of, Fighting FOR Your Marriage, recommend weekly “couple meetings” to increase the strength of your intimate relationships.

Couple meetings are a time for couples to dialogue about their relationship. Those discussions can include an assessment of how the relationship is going and, when needed, to problem solve.

Here are some ideas you and your partners can use for couple meetings:

Plan a time: Schedule at least 30 minutes for you and your partner to talk—no distractions or interruptions including kids and electronic devices.

Use a discussion strategy–each partner will have an opportunity to be a “speaker.” Speakers may introduce topics, or they respond to speakers, after those speakers had their say. Speakers say what’s on their mind, without questions, comments, or other interruptions. Speakers can use “I-statements” to express concerns. An “I statement” describes how one feels, when, and why. For example, a speaker may state, “I feel frustrated when you don’t inform me that you’re going to be late for dinner, because I could have waited to cook.”

Listeners focus on the speaker’s message. When speakers finish, listeners can paraphrase what they heard. For example, a listener might say, “It sounds like you want me to contact you when I will be home late.” If needed, the original speaker can clarify until she/he feels that the listener has understood his or her feelings. The couple can work on a solution (I will text or call you when I will be late). At that point, the couple can move on to the next topic.

Solutions are not always possible, but talking about issues may prevent them from becoming larger problems.

Plan to connect. Couples also can use weekly meetings to plan activities that your enjoy doing together. For example, plan a time for a walk in a local park or make a date to go see a movie.

Couple meetings are one strategy that may help to maintain or even improve your significant relationships.

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WRITTEN BY: Joseph Maiorano PhD Candidate, College of Education and Hum Ecol, Dept. of Teaching and Learning, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, College of Food, Ag, and Env Sci, Dept. of Extension

REVIEWED BY: Carmen Irving, M.A., CFLE, CYC-P, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension, Union County

PHOTO CREDITS:

  • Pixabay.com

SOURCES:

  • Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M. and Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting FOR Your Marriage. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Categories: Family and Relationships

Avatar for Amanda Woods
Avatar for Amanda Woods

About Amanda Woods

Amanda Woods M.Ed. is currently the Healthy Finances Program Specialist for Family and Consumer Sciences at Ohio State University Extension. Amanda is passionate about community engagement and outreach, and enjoys being in a role that helps facilitate research based education throughout the many wonderful counties in Ohio. She believes education is a valuable and indispensable tool, especially when used to promote community health and well-being.

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