Many people made health-related New Year’s resolutions. Some may have committed to exercising, and other may have committed to reaching to a lower body mass. The result: people can get healthier.
Another resolution to consider is a relationship-related. You and your significant other can commit to achieving a stronger relationship!
According to the American Psychological Association, 45-50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Though the rate of divorce is a lower than during the 1990s, it is still quite high. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is somewhat higher
Markman, Stanley and Blumberg (2010), authors of, Fighting FOR Your Marriage, recommend weekly “couple meetings” to increase the strength of your intimate relationships.
Couple meetings are a time for couples to dialogue about their relationship. Those discussions can include an assessment of how the relationship is going and, when needed, to problem solve.
Here are some ideas you and your partners can use for couple meetings:
Plan a time: Schedule at least 30 minutes for you and your partner to talk—no distractions or interruptions including kids and electronic devices.
Use a discussion strategy–each partner will have an opportunity to be a “speaker.” Speakers may introduce topics, or they respond to speakers, after those speakers had their say. Speakers say what’s on their mind, without questions, comments, or other interruptions. Speakers can use “I-statements” to express concerns. An “I statement” describes how one feels, when, and why. For example, a speaker may state, “I feel frustrated when you don’t inform me that you’re going to be late for dinner, because I could have waited to cook.”
Listeners focus on the speaker’s message. When speakers finish, listeners can paraphrase what they heard. For example, a listener might say, “It sounds like you want me to contact you when I will be home late.” If needed, the original speaker can clarify until she/he feels that the listener has understood his or her feelings. The couple can work on a solution (I will text or call you when I will be late). At that point, the couple can move on to the next topic.
Solutions are not always possible, but talking about issues may prevent them from becoming larger problems.
Plan to connect. Couples also can use weekly meetings to plan activities that your enjoy doing together. For example, plan a time for a walk in a local park or make a date to go see a movie.
Couple meetings are one strategy that may help to maintain or even improve your significant relationships.
