Toddlers and preschoolers are developing emotionally, physically, cognitively, and even socially. This growth leads to an increased curiosity about their world, which can sometimes mean undesirable behavior. When these occasions arise it is important for parents to have tools and techniques to keep their kiddos safe and promote positive behavior.
During a child’s toddler and preschool years he or she begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences. Because these connections are being made it is critical to start teaching your toddler and preschooler about established rules and boundaries. As you begin to communicate these rules to your child you also want to explain your expectations before any consequences are needed. There are several techniques that can be used to do this, which help guide your child’s decisions to positive behavior.
One-Word Rule-
To help guide toddlers and preschoolers to desired behaviors keep your instructions brief. Too much instruction makes it difficult for young children to focus on what is being asked of them. Try using the “one-word rule” to guide preschoolers to remember what is expected of them so that when they hear the “word” they know what is expected of them without causing a problem. For example, when at the library try using the word “quiet” or “voice” to remind him or her that this is a place where “a quiet voice is used”.
When-Then Rule-
The “when-then” rule is a useful tool when you need your child to cooperate even when they are uninterested. For example, “When you finish taking your bath, then we can read a story together.”
Redirect-
This technique can be used to redirect a toddler or preschooler to a more desirable activity. Redirecting is quite simply verbalizing other acceptable options for your toddler and preschooler. When redirecting, offer acceptable options in exchange for the unacceptable choice or behavior. This technique not only verbalizes what is acceptable, but also gives your child power to make his or her own decision. For example, your child keeps kicking the ball in the house. Simply remind your child that the rule is “No kicking balls in the house”. Present your child with some acceptable choices such as, “You may play with the blocks or we can go outside to kick the ball”. What do you pick?”
Time-out-
Time-out is also an effective method of managing your preschooler’s behavior because they are starting to cognitively understand and respond to cause and effect of their own actions. The time-out method is used to separate the child from the situation to allow them to reflect and grasp what the consequences are for their actions. Suggestions for using the time-out include:
- Introduce the time-out method during the child’s second year
- Pick a place that does not also have a reward. For example, in viewing range of the TV or near toys.
- The length of a time-out should correspond to the child’s age. (One minute per year of the child up to five minutes).
- Prepare the child by helping them understand the connection to why they are in time-out and the behavior that is expected.
- Remember, time-out is NOT an opportunity for lecturing or teaching, it is a time for the child to be alone, with supervision to reflect on their behavior.
- Parents are the time keepers.
- After time-out begin a fresh start.
Toddlers and preschoolers are exploring the world around them and learning the rules and boundaries that help to guide them. Use the tips above to help teach your little one about the cause and effects of their behavior. Remember, consistency is key to being effective.
