Amidst the holiday decorations, music, special events and the “to do” list I trust that you are savoring some time for yourself to look for the good things and absorb the special moments with your children. It might be a good time to take a look at the things on the list and evaluate the joy or stress they bring. Take a look at the items below and decide for yourself if there needs to be some changes for your household this year.
- Review family traditions. Sometimes just because we have always done something doesn’t mean that we can’t revise or alter it as the children grow or desires change. Talk about new ways to celebrate and maybe different traditions that might be just as fun.
- Keep a calendar and a schedule. If there’s too much excitement or trying to do too many things, then everyone gets tired and cranky. Don’t be afraid to say no, you don’t have to do everything. Keeping a schedule for young children is really important. They need their naps and daily routines more now than ever.
- Don’t skip meals because you are too busy. Rushing through fast foods or skipping meals on a regular basis can only throw your body out of kilter, less sleep, more caffeine, and mood swings may follow. Your children need their regular meals. Research tells us that if we eat at home, they are generally more nutritious with low fat milk, whole grains and vegetables that we generally don’t find at a drive thru.
- If children will be spending time at someone else’s home, plan ahead and talk about it. Once you’ve agreed on a holiday schedule with the children, try and stick with the plan. This will help your children feel secure and comfortable. If plans are always changed, children may become confused about the expectations and may become cranky and irritable.
- Don’t feel guilty about not having a “perfect” celebration. Be flexible and try to enjoy the moment. It’s really not about the decorations or the gifts; it’s about spending time together with family and friends. Don’t let competition spoil the holidays. Test this one; ask your family members what gift(s) they received last year. Then ask what they remember most—an event or special tradition that you did. See which one they remember the most.
- Don’t take responsibility for everyone else’s happiness. Learn to delegate responsibilities so that you are not always taking on more than you can ever accomplish. Change your expectations so that everyone can help with a task and feel a part of the holiday celebration.
- Look for things to do with the children that you both like. Puzzles, board games, even cooking in the kitchen will create positive memories.
- Make a list of all the things you dislike about the holidays and rid you of most of them. If it brings you grief, then why are you still doing it? How can you change it?
Remember the holidays will never let you down. Only you can let yourself down. The responsibility is always your own. Take time to really look at what’s important to you at this special time of year and make plans to change some things so that you can enjoy the love, joy, peace, faith and happiness of the season.
Author: Melinda Hill, Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Sciences, Ohio State University Extension
Sources: OSU Extension, Positive Parenting 2009
Nancy Wilson, Penn State Better Kid Care Program
Amy Griswold, Family Life Educator, University of Illinois Extension – Macomb Center; Rachel Schwarzendruber, Family Life Educator, University of Illinois Extension – East Peoria Center
