Part of our humanity is living with loss. We experience life and we live with loss. Loss brings out the best and the worst in each of us. Children and adults cope with loss differently. When we or someone we love is grieving, we have the potential to alienate others or to draw closer to them. By following a few guidelines from “A LifeCare® Guide to Helping Others Cope with Grief”(PDF), we can show ongoing, loving support to our family and friends.
- Mention the person who has died, and acknowledge your awareness of the loss. Continue to do remember the person who died, even after months have passed.When you act as if you don’t remember or are unaware of your loved one’s pain, a person can feel very alone.
- Listen to your loved one. Lending a non-judgmental listening ear to someone is the best way to show that you care.
- Encourage your loved one to make wise choices. Help the grieving person to take care of themselves and their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs.
- Offer practical help; don’t wait to be asked. Make specific offers, like “I am bringing you supper,” or “I will watch the kids tonight”.
- Remember that grieving is a long process. Every day and every holiday will bring memories of the missing loved one(s).
- Offer your companionship. Your presence can be comforting to a grieving loved one; you don’t have to do anything special. Often, grieving people just do not want to be alone.
- Don’t minimize the loss. Be careful not to say, “I know exactly how you feel.” Offer heartfelt statements that leave room room for your loved one’s experience.
- Encourage your loved one to share his or her feelings. Encourage your loved one by saying, “It’s okay to cry,” or “You don’t have to be so strong.”
- Help your loved one create new traditions/rituals/activities. Because it is so difficult to deal with change, help your loved one re-engage in life. At the same time, he or she should be encouraged to cherish the memories and/or traditions associated with the person who has passed away.
- Give advice cautiously. Avoid offering advice with phrases such as, “You should…” or “You need to….” Only the person who is grieving knows what is right for him or her.
Following these guidelines can help foster healthy relationships during times of loss and grief.
