Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial start of summer and the official start of area graduation ceremonies. If you have a family member graduating from high school this year, congratulations. Hopefully you aren’t breaking the bank to host a graduation party. Like other celebratory events such as kid’s birthday parties and weddings, graduation parties have become the latest entry in the social competition derby. How big and lavish can someone go in order to impress others with their party-planning skills? Unfortunately, pretty darn big.
When I graduated from high school, a small reception for family and close personal friends with cake and punch was the standard. Now, graduation parties are starting to take on the persona of wedding receptions with huge invitation lists, catered food, alcoholic beverages for the adults, decorating themes, and enough memorabilia to start a personal hall of fame for the graduate. If you are not a fan of this craze, or just wish to scale down your child’s celebration, you have options. I’m going to make the same suggestion to this year’s graduates that I made to my parents many moons ago.
I really didn’t care about having a reception, so I asked my mom how much she planned to spend on the event. She told me what she spent on my sister two years earlier. I then asked if I could skip the party and take that same amount in cash for college. She agreed, and we both walked away a winner. I got extra money for equipment I needed for school, and she was off the hook for entertaining (read cleaning, cooking, shopping, and organizing). Close people in my life such as grandparents, aunts and uncles, and family friends still sent gifts even though they weren’t invited to a party. They did it because they cared about me and not because an invitation dictated they do so.
I recognize this suggestion will not appeal to every graduate or parent. There is nothing wrong with celebrating the benchmarks of your life. I had small family parties for both of my kids when they graduated. But you need to have a frank discussion with your child to see what their expectations are for celebrating graduation, what your budget can withstand, and make adjustments from there. Why go to all the work and expense of a big party if your child really doesn’t want one in the first place? You might compromise and opt for a smaller party with the rest of the party budget given in cash to the graduate. Because they’re going to need it. If you think it costs a lot to pay for a cap and gown, graduation announcements, postage, a party, and thank-you notes, wait until the college bills start rolling in.
Students are becoming increasingly concerned about their ability to finance a college education. A recent study conducted in late 2008-09 by the University of Arizona with funding from the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) showed some scary findings. Note that these responses were made at the beginning of the recession, but circumstances have actually grown worse for many since that initial time frame. Below are some of the findings.
- 95% of college students said the economic crisis had impacted their family’s finances.
- There was a 169% increase in the number of students who reported dropping classes.
- There was a 106% increase in the number of students taking “leaves” from school.
- Students reported a 60% increase in credit card debt and an 85% increase in student loan debt compared to spring of that same year (2008).
- Comments and concerns students listed as worrisome included parents losing their jobs, increases in tuition, fixed scholarship amounts, the need to work more, and whether they should transfer to more affordable schools.
Obviously these findings are disturbing. You need to talk to your high school-age children about their expectations for college, the amount of money available for tuition, and affordable options that will yield the same result (a degree). Branch campuses and community colleges are two that come to mind. Another option is long distance education, which will yield a degree from a university that is not close geographically.
But it is important to keep in mind the benefit of higher education. We can debate the merits of a big, blow-out party until the cows come home, but education is a no-brainer. It is an investment in oneself that can never be taken away. And that investment is important not only to students and parents, but to society in general.
Written by:
Donna Green, Family & Consumer Sciences Educator
OSU Extension
